Re-constructed Irish

So I’m back in blogging with whatever thoughts I come across to… It has been half a year ever since I pulled over and stopped expressing every feeling, every thoughts, everything…

Honestly speaking, I was drowned in love just like that. Everything had been put in to test, no I did not want to detail every single tear I shed, no I did not want to think about the pain I went through but yes I am living with all the good things being in love resulted me in to. Of course it was sweet but highly to be maintained, no time for slip ups and tiny errors otherwise it would be a mess, there was surely a war.

Sometimes, being selfish brings our ego up high and admittedly one of the good feelings yet to be guarded at all times, what comes around goes around. Selfishly in love was one of the things that controlled me where I want was just me and no one else, I was not sure if I was influenced or was it just really me. It was difficult, it was overwhelming, it was a beautiful kind of hurting.

I found myself reading blogs and articles hoping I could find the answer and better understand why in the world this is happening to me, why in the world everything has to be out of place and out of hands. Then I stopped for a while and listened to my inner self, I was wanting to do a lot, I was wanting to do everything I want at the same time and then I blew up never redeemed myself for a while.

I know I needed a break and I needed a space but things just keep moving on and so I had to. You know the feeling when you notice yourself aging and looked back behind with what have you done in your life you were most proud of? Have you had enough savings? Have you had enough of everything? I think I grew up too fast…

I never understood the magic of Law Of Attraction anyways, I watched the documentary yes, I heard what they said yes, tried to apply it in my life yes, but nothing succeeded and found myself trying hard for something I was really not. There was no harm in trying right? If it’s for your own worth, why not?

But this is me… No matter what people think, whether they say I care less… I am entitled to my own feelings and I am entitled to my own actions.

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